DEAR NASA...

On a lot of days, I sit on my back porch around 12:30 in the afternoon, enjoying espresso.

Most days, I am joined by a little squirrel. His name is Bertrand. Bertrand and I have had a lot of conversations over the past year since we moved to Orlando.

The other day I was talking to someone who suggested I write down the conversations I have with him.

So here we are.

I told Bertrand about this picture I saw the other day …

Over the next couple of days, after I saw this, the words in my mind changed to say

I thought I was good enough.

And I began to think about all Pluto has been through over the years.

People thinking that he’s not what he used to be or what he ought to be and placing him in the size box they think he should fit in.

And that made me think about myself. The struggles I've had over the years thinking I wasn't good enough as a wife, or good enough as a mom, or good enough as a daughter or a sister.

So, when a situation within my family called for a redirect of my priorities, I made a decision to change. And it's been one of the scariest things I've ever done.

I decided to go out on my own, to try something I've always loved doing but never had the courage to go all in.

And then something started happening --

“She is very talented, professional, and passionate about the work she does."

“Susan was very punctual, honest, and helpful.”

“Very professional and positive.”

“Susan is exceptional and it is clear that she cares about her work!!"

“She is quick, diligent, and highly skilled! She also has an amazingly positive attitude.”

Complete strangers reminded me that I am good enough. It took hours of hard work remembering rules, buying new books, reading guides, watching videos, seeking out a mentor, and eventually seeing what I am capable of. And it is good.

I just started this season. I don't know if it will be a success or just a step towards another landing. And that's okay. Because through just the past few weeks, I've learned my self-worth is not based on what I do. It's based on who I am, my character, and how I see myself.

It's dangerous to base our self-worth on what others think of us.

- Kevin Kruse

Bertrand doesn't worry about what others think of him.

He isn't bothered by those who visit and possibly laugh at him because he's a little chunky. They may be silently jealous because they know this squirrel has it good.

He doesn't flinch when Jasper Cat walks right by him, within inches. He is secure in his ability to sprint up the tree before Jasper even picks up his head to see what he is supposed to be chasing.

And Bertrand isn't afraid of me. He's become accustomed to the human who walks out a few times a week to put more food in his feeder. He knows that he has become slightly dependent on others to help him thrive, and he accepts the help, gladly.

This week's Conversation with Bertrand has taught me to be like Pluto.

Know who you are, who you were meant to be, and don't change just because NASA says you should.